How do you feel about your girlfriends without kids?

“Don’t worry, when you find the right man, you’ll want kids.” “It will happen, be patient.” “Oh… I’m sorry.” “Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older… I mean, you’ll end up in a home.” “You don’t understand tired till you have kids.” “Don’t worry, you still have time.” “You’re missing out… having kids gave me meaning.”

Why does everyone assume that I WANT kids? Yes, yes I’ll be 39 this September and yes, I’ve heard, it’s now or never. But what if the reason I don’t have kids is that I’ve made a conscious decision not to?

Whoa. Now we’re talking some taboo stuff here. It’s not a subject we’re comfortable with yet. Do you know how many holidays I’ve had to work because I don’t have kids? Is my family less important because I don’t have kids? If you HAVE kids, and you have a friend who doesn’t have kids… tread lighter than you have in the past. Might you be surprised at the crap we women of the ‘Kids? Thanks but no thanks.’ club hear on a regular. Lots of it hurtful, even if well intended.

I’d make a fantastic mom! Because I chose not to have kids doesn’t mean I’d be horrible at it. Nor does it mean kids would be a ‘damper’ in my life. I love kids. I AM a kid. I’m not someone kids have to ask to make a fort. I’m one who makes a fort and asks kids if they want to see MY fort! “Whhhhooooooaaaaa… ”  is a typical response from kids with wide sparkling eyes. “You must be lonely & unfulfilled. You haven’t found the right man.” is a typical response from adults with unnecessary pity. I like the kids' responses better. And we thought kids can be cruel… we should look at how we are cruel as adults. Reevaluate ourselves now & again.

I have an idea. Maybe since I’ve never had kids, you’re right… I DON’T know what it’s like to have kids. But MAYBE, just maybe, you don’t know what it’s like to not have kids. Cause, uh, you have them… you wouldn’t know. Not having kids for a period of time is a lot different than not having kids by choice for your lifetime. So we shouldn’t assume we know what it’s like. Towards each other.

My reasons for not having kids are just that… mine. They shouldn’t matter to anyone else. And I shouldn’t have to defend myself when others think they know what’s best for my life. Now if someone asks me out of curiosity because they are trying to discover where they stand? Bring it on. I’d be happy to chat about my point of view for my life.

But this mindset about women not having kids should change. It’s not a disservice to a woman. It’s a choice. It doesn’t mean we love less. It doesn’t mean we’re selfish either. Like every other decision in life, it’s something I’ve pondered, thought about and decided it’s not for me. Period. That’s it.

If you have a friend who has chosen not to have kids, call them today. Tell them you love them. Take them out for a coffee and reconnect with them. They may want to chat with you about stuff going on in their life. Not their personal decision to go against a status quo. Just sayin’.

To all the  ‘Kids? Thanks but no thanks.’  Club Members (KTBNT) & mother’s alike. Happy Mother’s Day. You all have reason to celebrate today. As women. Whether you have used your uterus or not.

Love
Waffle
Ps. For those of you like me, Mother’s Day this year is on May 13th. Call your Mother! ;)
Pss. Share with your friends who have chosen to not have kids. I’d love to hear their story or truths about their decision to not have kids.

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My very special family. Braddah (back), Walt Man (left), & Emma Girl (right)

Nothing better than getting outside with the fam!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY EVERYONE! No matter what kind of babies you have! Mine have hairier legs than I do.

Is it possible for an animal to heal the human heart?

How could a dog save your life? Well, to start. I dunno. What I do know about my pitbull, Braddah, is he’s human. Really. If you’ve ever met him. You’d agree. There’s something about him you can’t exactly explain. It’s like he’s present with you. His mind is thinking. He can completely understand what’s going on around him.

This Cinco de Mayo will mark Braddah’s 10th birthday. I’m more than honored to be his “mom”. This guy. I owe him everything.

During my darkest hours, he was there. Whether it was because I was crying or sad for no reason (except life itself). He was there. Pinning me down and licking away my tears until I burst out into laughter. Cuddling and sleeping in with me as I’d wish another new day wouldn’t begin. Getting me outside and remembering the serenity only nature can give you. This guy. I owe him everything.

We would drive and drive and drive to get away from my thoughts, I would have dark thoughts. I’d wonder what it would feel like if I Thelma & Louise’d this bitch as I’m approaching a cliff I could never come back from. If I left Braddah at home, he was destructive, so he was usually driving with me. I could do it if it was only me. I couldn’t do it to him. That might sound crazy to you. But I felt that my problems were completely unfair to this innocent animal.

Braddah reminded me how to have fun. He got me hiking again. How else was I gonna wear him out? If I didn’t wear him out I’d have bigger problems. Actual memory: Chewed up prescriptions glasses. Twice. Within the same week. Yep. I learned after that. This crazy dude required 2 hours of activity a day when he was young. Living alone that’s hard. You’re also responsible for all your own grocery shopping, errands, fixing stuff in your house, etc. The list could go on forever. At first I resented him for it. How dare he take up so much of my time? Little did I know, those hikes would slowly bring me back to myself.

His kisses and loves would slowly light the way. The fact that I’ve NEVER seen a pitbull so dang crazy to swim would bring me back to the water. Whether a river, lake or the ocean, he was puuuuuuuuullllllllin’. We had a waterhole we frequented at Calico Basin near Red Rock, Nevada. People would watch from above and laugh. He’s a hilarious swimmer. Again, making me laugh would slowly creep into feelings of joy.

To your surprise, I have to report I didn’t want him. He was my ex-husbands' pitbull. I didn’t want the responsibility. It seemed unfair. But it happened to turn out that my living situation could take the pitbull while his couldn’t. I had a dog. Fuck. Today, I still can’t believe I felt that way. This pitbull is my soulmate. He brought me back from the brink of a self-induced death. I’ve never known someone so loyal. So loving. This dog could get love for days and not get enough. He IS love. And I’m fortunate to be his.

Don’t underestimate the love of an animal. They may save you. It was Braddah’s tenderness (more than any human in my life at that time) that made me reconsider where I stood. On the biggest decision of my life. For my life.

Sometimes we’re embarrassed to admit a species ‘lower than humans’ could be our saving grace. I invite you to tell me about your special fish/bird/dolphin/dog/chinchilla/exotic lion experience. The one that changed everything for you. Let’s share. I bet I’m not the only one.

Let’s give our animals special love this Cinco de Mayo. Celebrate Braddah’s 10th birthday with me. There’s so many people that love you Braddah Man. You’re a special dude.

Love,
Waffle
Ps. Share with anyone you know that has a special animal experience. I’d love to hear their story.

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One of my favorite pics of Braddah Man!

Braddah & Emma are always thirsty. What good dogs.

THIS guy! Braddah means everything to me. He taught me how to find my joy.

Are you embarrassed to dance? Copy Elaine or a Muppet!

Why do I  think more people should dance like Elaine in Seinfeld?

With International Dance Day coming up, I find myself asking a question. How can someone only dance a specific dance move when you hear “I’M WALKING ON SUNSHINE…. WOOOOOOW, I’M WALKING ON SUNSHINE… WOOOOOOOOOOW, DON’T IT FEEL GOOOOD!”

This is one of my favorite songs to watch people. I find it to be one of those songs where people stop trying to be cool and get into the rhythm of what they are FEELING. I’ve seen people dance their ASS off to that song. Don’t believe me? Google that song RIGHT NOW. Tell me you don’t feel like boogying your bajeezes off. Trust me… if you let go…. The MOVES that would come out of you! It would be GLORIOUS!

Go to that ‘for hot people only’ dance club. Bust out an Elaine. Dance like a muppet (that’s pretty much my level of dance lessons). I promise you, you’ll have the time of your LIFE!

How do I know this is true? It is my tried & true method of dancing. The funniest thing is my unorthodox dance moves tend to get other people out on the dance floor. Yeah. That’s right. Elaine that shit on an empty dance floor. Muppet move your body. Do you LOOOOVE the song? Does it gets you moving on the INSIDE?  Is your body DYING to release itself. So why not let it?

No one labeled dancing to be cool or uncool. You labeled it. So don’t. Feel insecure about it? Google some old dance moves and get down on your bad self. Yeah… they most likely look silly now. So BE silly. BE free. NOW!

Dance and dance like you DON’T care about anything except how you FEEL!

So I’ll leave you with this challenge. To celebrate International Dance Day on April 29th. Find the song, no, let’s get this party STARTED… here’s a link for ‘I’m Walking on Sunshine’ on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/iPUmE-tne5U

Turn this BEAST ON!

LOUD!

AND PROUD! And let’s all show each other what REAL dance moves look like.

Looking forward to seeing your muppet soul dance,
Waffle

Is it important I reuse my water bottle?

I don’t know. I can’t answer that for you. In my experience, confusion means I should ask myself more questions. Does convenience trump survival? Does the term “survival” only contain depth and meaning with trauma? Do we need trauma to realize our synergy with Earth & its functions?

These are questions I ask myself when I don’t understand what the right answer is for myself.  We humans, are connected to this earth, its functions, and its animals. It has left us this supremely important job to take care of it by giving us the ability to think & problem solve. Our job is to figure out how to live in unison with each other and the planet.

Why aren’t we questioning everything? Maybe we can’t find a transportation solution because we got it all wrong? Starting with roads & how we construct them? I don’t have answers. I allow curiosity to give me permission to ask questions.

So what am I curious about for this Earth Day (April 22nd, 2018)? Yep, it’s Earth Day. Earth gets a day cause it’s awesome. Can I get a “whoop whoop”?

So let’s ask ourselves these questions together. Do I need to use that disposable plastic water bottle or sports drink today? Or can I carry on fine with a reusable bottle? And fill it up at the sink or fountain? Or if you can’t afford a reusable bottle... how many times can you reuse your disposable water bottle before tossing it?

Change comes these itty bitty choices we make in unison. LET’S DO THIS! Here’s my water bottle. Show me how you’re reusing today.

Stay hydrated & Earth Day friendly,
Waffle

Braddah saying "Use your reuseable water bottle folks. Or I'll be severely disappointed." Hahaha. Those eyes. Happy Earth Day everybody!