How do you feel about your girlfriends without kids?

“Don’t worry, when you find the right man, you’ll want kids.” “It will happen, be patient.” “Oh… I’m sorry.” “Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older… I mean, you’ll end up in a home.” “You don’t understand tired till you have kids.” “Don’t worry, you still have time.” “You’re missing out… having kids gave me meaning.”

Why does everyone assume that I WANT kids? Yes, yes I’ll be 39 this September and yes, I’ve heard, it’s now or never. But what if the reason I don’t have kids is that I’ve made a conscious decision not to?

Whoa. Now we’re talking some taboo stuff here. It’s not a subject we’re comfortable with yet. Do you know how many holidays I’ve had to work because I don’t have kids? Is my family less important because I don’t have kids? If you HAVE kids, and you have a friend who doesn’t have kids… tread lighter than you have in the past. Might you be surprised at the crap we women of the ‘Kids? Thanks but no thanks.’ club hear on a regular. Lots of it hurtful, even if well intended.

I’d make a fantastic mom! Because I chose not to have kids doesn’t mean I’d be horrible at it. Nor does it mean kids would be a ‘damper’ in my life. I love kids. I AM a kid. I’m not someone kids have to ask to make a fort. I’m one who makes a fort and asks kids if they want to see MY fort! “Whhhhooooooaaaaa… ”  is a typical response from kids with wide sparkling eyes. “You must be lonely & unfulfilled. You haven’t found the right man.” is a typical response from adults with unnecessary pity. I like the kids' responses better. And we thought kids can be cruel… we should look at how we are cruel as adults. Reevaluate ourselves now & again.

I have an idea. Maybe since I’ve never had kids, you’re right… I DON’T know what it’s like to have kids. But MAYBE, just maybe, you don’t know what it’s like to not have kids. Cause, uh, you have them… you wouldn’t know. Not having kids for a period of time is a lot different than not having kids by choice for your lifetime. So we shouldn’t assume we know what it’s like. Towards each other.

My reasons for not having kids are just that… mine. They shouldn’t matter to anyone else. And I shouldn’t have to defend myself when others think they know what’s best for my life. Now if someone asks me out of curiosity because they are trying to discover where they stand? Bring it on. I’d be happy to chat about my point of view for my life.

But this mindset about women not having kids should change. It’s not a disservice to a woman. It’s a choice. It doesn’t mean we love less. It doesn’t mean we’re selfish either. Like every other decision in life, it’s something I’ve pondered, thought about and decided it’s not for me. Period. That’s it.

If you have a friend who has chosen not to have kids, call them today. Tell them you love them. Take them out for a coffee and reconnect with them. They may want to chat with you about stuff going on in their life. Not their personal decision to go against a status quo. Just sayin’.

To all the  ‘Kids? Thanks but no thanks.’  Club Members (KTBNT) & mother’s alike. Happy Mother’s Day. You all have reason to celebrate today. As women. Whether you have used your uterus or not.

Love
Waffle
Ps. For those of you like me, Mother’s Day this year is on May 13th. Call your Mother! ;)
Pss. Share with your friends who have chosen to not have kids. I’d love to hear their story or truths about their decision to not have kids.

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My very special family. Braddah (back), Walt Man (left), & Emma Girl (right)

Nothing better than getting outside with the fam!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY EVERYONE! No matter what kind of babies you have! Mine have hairier legs than I do.